Sorry it’s taken me a while to get back to you.
At a certain point I began to resist what I privately refer to as the travelling discourse value creation circus, or the panel discussion industrial complex, for its prerogative to simultaneously erase and reify the personhood of artists as experts or figureheads of this or that idea, schematic or even – at worst – subjectivity. I was a very recent — graduate when I did this interview, and already —- years old; aside from the 1.5 years I spent at ——-, I had no formal education and as yet no real practice. While I did the best I could with what I had back then, the content feels almost defensive, like I had to do a really good job of sounding like I knew what I was talking about. The worst thing is that people bought into it, and I found myself on a lot of panels for a while before figuring out that sitting alongside a bunch of —————– with PhDs would only make me look stupid – or that I was talking my truth to an audience of peers, with no more claim or inclination to the soapbox circuit than any one of them. While I am grateful for the support and platform I was given, I now wish to refuse the mode in which these platforms operate, and having done all my learning in public – often somewhat grossly and chaotically, picking up vocabulary along the way – I now feel it’s time to grow out of certain ideas, associations and practices. If one gives their consent [to publish] at a given time it should not be taken as read that this consent will continue indefinitely, as I hope you understand.
Thanks in advance for your understanding.